Not for the Sarcastically Impaired

Let's be honest . . . does anyone actually ever read all the way through my blog posts? I have a serious case of diarrhea of the keyboard. You generally have to page down at least four times per post, right?

Well, today's your lucky day. I have a short one. I discovered a hilarious blog and wanted to share it with you. I actually read about it in the Mormon Times section of the Deseret News, so you know it must be pure and delightsome. It's basically a sarcastic dig at the ever-expanding world of Mormon Mommy blogging (of which we all basically should realize we're a part). It is replete with all the standard Mormon blog widgets, including a pregnancy countdown, a link to the 'Twilight' novels, and an MP3 listing of all the cheesiest love songs you could imagine. It is wickedly funny, and I guarantee that you will feel like you know someone who has a blog just like this.

You really have to read through the first few posts to get an idea of the tone. My personal favorite is the over-reliance on exclamation points and acronyms, and the CAPS-LOCKED MISSPELLED WORDS!!!!!!!! This is DEFIANTLY my favrite blog evah!!!! Take it with a grain of salt, don't take it as a jab at your personal blog, and enjoy a good laugh at ourselves.

San Francisco Treat, Part II

OK, first things first. I have prevailed upon my wife to find a significantly less girly layout for this page. I have a feeling this will continue to be a battle I have to fight.

Anyway, after all your waiting, I will at long last reveal the dramatic conclusion to our San Francisco vacation.

There has been much speculation about the cliffhanger from last week's post. Granted, it was all speculation from a single reader, but I will take any interest in our blog that I can get. To answer the questions, no we weren't checking clams for pearls (not to mention that if you're checking clams for pearls, you'll spend your whole life looking and never find one). No, we would not go to San Francisco, of all places, to buy real estate. And no, we were not starting a YFZ-style ranch to keep ourselves sheltered from the world. I think we are a peculiar enough people already. The true reason was guessed, though, and it is definitely the best reason of all of them to take a trip.

Yes, we trekked to San Francisco to see the Cubs. As you are undoubtedly aware (unless you're some kind of anti-American, baseball-hating Commie), at the midpoint of the Major League season, the Cubs had the best record in baseball. This is significant because my beloved Cubs have been cursed, and have not won a World Series since 1908. Yes, that means this year is the magical 100th anniversary of their last World Championship. So it goes without saying that a winning record for the Cubs is indeed a rare thing. But this is their year, I tell you! So we had to make a trip to see them play, so I can tell my grandkids that I saw them play during the year that they break the curse!
We made it to two games at AT&T Park, home of the San Francisco Giants. The ballpark is beautiful, as it sits right on the ocean with gorgeous views of the bay and the Bay Bridge. Home runs occasionally sail over the right field fence and plop into the sea. We were actually lucky enough to see such a home run, which is a rare feat. Only 12 homers by Giants not named Barry Bonds have ever reached the bay since the park's construction in 2000.

The first game the Cubs won in dramatic fashion, 6-5. They struck out the last batter with the tying run 90 feet away from home on third base. It was a very exciting game. After the game, the Giants put on a fireworks show. The good: the fireworks were sent up from a barge floating on the bay, which was cool.

The bad: Fog rolled into the stadium during the last inning of the game.

The ugly: Most of the fireworks were obscured by the mist, making each explosion just a murky, indistinguishable haze of red, white, and blue. The music was stirring, though, which was good because it was about the only part of the fireworks show that we could enjoy. Lesson learned; don't go to San Francisco for fireworks!

The following morning, we slept in a bit and then drove up to Muir Woods, a smallish copse of redwood trees on the north of the bay. I don't know if anyone else is aware of this, but those tress are BIG. Here are a couple of pictures, but it's hard to convey their sheer immensity through photos.

Here Clint and Ben make the classic MTC Map o' the World pose with a cross-section of a tree.

We went to our second Cubs game that afternoon, but the outcome was not so good. The Giants' sole All-Star was pitching, and he really took it to the poor Cubbies. Our pitcher was not so good, and as a result, he has since been traded away to the A's. The most exciting part of the game, though, was getting to sit next to a real San Francisco giant!

In this picture, you can see her (in orange) sitting in the row behind us. I am signaling the quantity of hot dogs she had eaten per inning (five). She and two similarly-sized friends were sitting next to us, and spilling over the armrests into my Dad's neighboring seat. Luckily, after some awkward rubbing-up-againsts, they got the hint and took some vacant seats behind us to spread out in. OK, we're mean, but they were about the only thing funny about a game in which the Cubs never really had a chance to win.

I caught a flight home the next morning on the 4th of July, and thus ended my mini-vacation. I had a really good time hanging out with my brothers, and now I totally owe Jenny one for letting me ditch her with the girls for two whole days. I would like to think that since I took her clothes shopping the next day, I have made it up to her. But given her basic distaste for shopping, I think that's not going to cut it. You are all welcome to give me ideas on how to make it up to her (under $200, please) . . .

San Francisco Treat, Part I

OK, now that Jenny has a sissy background on the page, I don't know how often I will allow myself to post. But, I did just enjoy a great vacation with my Dad and brothers, so I guess I ought to post some pictures. To my brothers, I apologize if the girliness of this blog permanently damages your manly reputations.

So, my Dad (Jim), brothers (Clint and Ben) and I set out for San Francisco on July 2. We flew in the morning, got our car and went straight to Fisherman's Wharf. There we enjoyed some delicious clam chowder in sourdough bread bowls. We ate at a cool sourdough bakery called Boudins that makes an array of excellent baked goods, including these that look like various sea critters.
After lunch we set out on a cruise around the Bay. Apparently the cruises out to Alcatraz are booked months in advance, so we pretty much had no shot at that. So, the next best thing is to take a boat that travels underneath the Golden Gate Bridge, and then around the island and its prison. The boat was the home of some pretty cheesy narration pointing out the sites, but also home to great camera angles of the bridge.

Pictured here: Clint about to lose his sourdough to the jellyfish below. Luckily he was able to keep it in.

Alcatraz is a pretty creepy place. It's in a state of complete disrepair, and it's always cold and windy. The high temperature while we were there was about 61 degrees. This was the first week of July! Honestly, it felt nice to get out of the 100 degree temps here, but living on an island in the Bay would be pretty foggy and cold all the time. Not so fun. Moving on . . . to quote 'So I Married an Axe Murderer,' "This way to the cafeteria!"

As we waited in line for the cruise, we spotted the glorious state bird of Utah, the California Sea Gull! OK, so it's not so glorious. But it had chicks, which were actually kind of cute. Who knew?

After the cruise we hit the Aquarium of the Bay, which was kind of disappointing, actually. It was a nice place, but it was about the same square footage as my house. So, it took us about half an hour to see everything there. Still, we got some good photos.

Jim got to pet a shark, which was pretty cool. These are the most docile sharks in the world, apparently. They just sat there on the sand bar the whole time.

OK, that's enough pictures for one post, methinks. Part II will bring you the real reason we made the trek to the City by the Bay. I know what you're thinking right now, "Hmm, guys-only trip to San Francisco . . ." No. Just, no. Stop it. That's gross. It's definitely not that. Part II will be great, I promise (even if it takes me a week to remember to post it).

Utah Arts Festival

A few Saturdays ago we headed to the Utah Arts Festival. Matt got free tickets from his boss. We saw a lot of amazing art (which I would've loved to buy) and had a lot of fun in the kids section.

They had a little playground area that both girls loved. We also saw a couple people from our ward there and talked awhile.

Madeleine did some crafts where she painted and glued.

The best part was the Summerhay's Music section. They had a huge variety of instruments there for kids to try out. So Madeleine tried the violin that was her size. She's played with her Grandma's full size violin, but not one she could actually hold.

I think the favorite was the gong. Madeleine had a hard time giving up the mallet to other people. Tori even seemed to like hitting it. It was a lot of fun.


But, Madeleine said her favorite part was the playing in the fountain at the library. And of course we could have played in the fountain without having to pay for the festival. I guess it's a good thing we got in free.

I don't know if we'll ever pay to go to this again, but it was sure fun and if it were free we would definitely go again.

Summer Splashin'

Last summer I discovered that Madeleine loves swimming pools and being in water. If there was a pool out at a neighbors house, she would jump in clothes and all. So this summer I've learned and we've just been out in the water quite a bit. So here's a peek of our water fun so far.

Here's Madeleine helping wash the car. She was pretty good at it and even enjoyed it. I think I might start a Madeleine's Car Washing business to help pay for her fruit "smack" habit.

We started our summer water fun with the sprinklers.

"Stick 'em up!"

Then I finally bought a pool. I guess we just got tired of waiting around for our neighbors to bust out theirs. Madeleine loves it and would be out in it everyday all day if I would let her. Tori has also enjoyed it. It's like a big outdoor bath. It's been a great way to beat the heat!

Cute Kids!

This is the reason people have blogs, to show off their cute kids. So here are some cute pictures we've taken lately.

I just love this picture of our beautiful Madeleine.

Some one's tired. Don't ya think?

Here's Madeleine with my dashing brother Jordan at his graduation. It was quite the exciting graduation. We had a Polynesian family behind us who went crazy when their graduate's name was read. And by the time they were done celebrating, we were covered in confetti and silly string.

I absolutely love this picture of Tori with my youngest brother Jed. She really likes him and was probably relieved to be out of all the noise of the graduation.